20 Soul-Trapping Relationship Mistakes That Make You Vulnerable to Heartbreaks

20 Soul-Trapping Relationship Mistakes That Make You Vulnerable to Heartbreaks

Does the concept of falling in love scare you?

Working hard, opening up and completely trusting someone. Only to end up in another shattered emotional investment.

People can cheat, fall out of love, or love someone else and this can tattoo the fear of abandonment on your soul.

So, tying your heart to someone else feels like handing them the power to affect your life.

How do you get a concrete guarantee that the next person you fall for will not leave you broken again?

The problem…

You don’t really have an answer. Because relationships are a never-ending guessing game. You’re stumbling in the dark all the time.

And maybe you came here to find some answers.

Maybe you’re hoping I’ll tell you what to do.

But I won’t.

Not because I don’t want to, but because sometimes you can’t understand what to do until you first understand what NOT to do.

So, let’s start there.

Here’s a list of 20 relationship mistakes that will plunge you into a trap where somebody can easily break you.

1: Trust is overrated

You go into relationships believing it’s paramount to trust the other person 100% if you truly love them.

Sadly, this is a fairy tale belief that will leave you undervalued, broken and unwanted for life.

Because no one can be trusted 100% with everything.

There will be things you can trust them with and things you can’t trust them with.

For example, you may trust your mom to look after your kids. But you may not always trust her to listen to you when telling her she hurt you deeply.

My point?

Trust is fluid. It changes from thing to thing. And this fluidity exists in intimate relationships too.

Believing that true love can only exist if you trust 100% causes you to have unspoken expectations. You expect the other person to treat all the things that are important to you with care and love.

But since you can’t trust anyone 100% of the time, you create an environment where multiple emotional wounds can be inflicted on you.

The result…

You are left paranoid and paralyzed with the fear that people will always betray you.

2: Having unspoken expectations are hidden gold

You’ve most likely been caught by this common lie.

They say…

“It’s wrong to have expectations.”

That’s the worst advice ever!

And before you accuse me of contradicting myself, let me explain.

You see, unspoken expectations are like hidden gold.

But hidden gold, despite its value, is useless to anyone if it remains buried where no one knows it exists.

Gold needs to be discovered, mined and purified to be useful.

In the same way, unspoken expectations shine a light on your hidden core needs. Needs that if met, will make your relationships worthwhile and beautiful.

And like hidden gold, you’ve got to discover, mine and purify your unspoken expectations. This is the only way to clarify and communicate them effectively to anyone interested in you.

Doing this gives that important person in your life the best chance to grow into someone who can make you feel loved, warm, secure and safe.

But keeping your expectation undiscovered and unspoken will eventually turn you into a …read more
Source: Steven Aitchison