Can Criticism Actually Destroy Your Romantic Life

Can Criticism Actually Destroy Your Romantic Life

In your experience, do you believe that we’re prone to highlight positive or negative things? In fact, let’s dwindle down this general question, and let’s focus on romantic relationships.

Now, do you believe that we have an easier time pointing out something our partner does incorrectly, or do you think there’s a much greater importance on what our partners do well in the relationship?

For a moment, think back to all of the words you’ve received over the years from romantic partners, but also analyze the many words that may exit your lips as well.  So, what’s the answer?

By the time this post comes to an end, I’d like for you to understand my position on this topic. In my perspective, I think we have an unconscious belief where everyone will arrive like a jigsaw puzzle, which we notice is completely assembled upon opening the box. In reality, we’re all under construction.

Unfortunately, because of the belief system where we see everyone as a completed puzzle, we may spend more time pointing out or just recognizing the things, which we don’t fancy about someone.

For instance, I’d like you to picture a blog post consisting of nearly five thousand words. Within this blog, the theme involves a popular blogger conveying why he remains in love with his wife.

Because the husband and wife duo shares their relationship with the audience in a transparent manner, this particular blog is simply business as usual. However, if even one sentence deviates from giving praise to his wife and the relationship, an interesting reaction is bound to occur.

You see, because we tend to pay closer attention to negative thoughts, his wife would unintentionally dismiss the thousands upon thousands of words praising the relationship, and she would shift her attention to the solo sentence. When it involves feedback, this reaction occurs because we tend to focus more on criticism than praise.

It’s as if we don’t recognize that we’re more than the sum of our shortcomings. On the flipside of this, we’ll sometimes place more emphasis on what our partners are doing wrong, or what our partners should improve upon than we do underscoring the things we truly adore.

Tell me, how often does your partner hear you say, “I’m grateful that you (insert an example of something that you appreciate)?” With that in mind, how regularly does your partner say, “I can’t get over how awesome you’re at (insert an example of …read more
Source: Steven Aitchison