Parents take on the hardest job
The Boy Scouts were at camp. In an inspection, the director found an umbrella neatly rolled inside the bedroll of a small Scout. An umbrella was not listed as a necessary item, so the director asked the boy to explain.
“Sir,” answered the young man with a weary sigh, “did you ever have a mother?”
Everyone has heard of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, but do you know about Parents’ Day? In 1994 U.S. President Bill Clinton established Parents’ Day as the fourth Sunday in July for “recognizing, uplifting and supporting the role of parents in rearing of children.” This year, Parents’ Day is on Sunday, July 23.
I always end my columns with a moral that wraps up the message in a tidy little package. These lessons are kind of like that: you get the gist without any extra words. This kind of education will especially bring back memories to baby boomers and older, who can attest to the tremendous “home schooling” we received. As I look back on things, moms and dads got their points across, often in a humorous way.
I can’t claim credit for them, and the authorship (perhaps Bert Christensen?) is variously attributed on the web. But they are gems, and in the middle of the long, hot summer, a little humor might brighten your day. Here goes:
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
My mother taught me RELIGION. “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
My father taught me about TIME TRAVEL. “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
My father taught me LOGIC. “Because I said so, that’s why.”
My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”
My mother taught me FORESIGHT. “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
My father taught me IRONY. “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”